Archive for May, 2009

Brett Blumenthal Says That I am Toxic

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

My wife told me that I was one of the “8 toxic personalities to avoid” last night. She pointed me to an article at http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-toxic-personalities-to-avoid-461078/, which was on the home page of Yahoo! under the “Featured” section.

Brett Says “5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can’t do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

* Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.”

I want to offer congratulations to Brett for attempting to write an article that she hoped would entertain or educate us, but alas, she has failed. She shouldn’t write an article when she does not know the “real Keiths” out in the world. Keiths have been around for ages and we are steadfast in our attempts to remain the same. I speak for all of Keithdom, when I say shame on you, Brett Blumenthal for attempting to change us or to make others feel differently about us.

It’s not true what you say. You must feel this way due to your personal inadequacies as a Brett. You can dream that you are different, but one must not set their dreams too high, because failure is inevitable.

American Idol is Proof that a Butt-Load of Money Gets us Nowhere

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

I watch American Idol. Mostly, I hate it, I think to the dismay of my friends and family. I watch it because I never get to see my wife and we can just sit and watch it together, even though we are usually working. While I watch the show, I definitely do so through veiled glasses. I watch for the marketing, the promotion and the fluff.

The finale this year (2009) was unbelievable in terms of scope. There were huge acts and it obviously was a massively expensive undertaking. The Black Eyed Peas, Kiss and countless others. There was glitz. There was style. There was so much happening that it made my head hurt.

With all of the glam, was it even worth it? Was it memorable aside from a judge flashing her undies, a bikini-clad singer, a staged crying event that went further than they even wanted and many awkward performances by the past contestants? Was there real substance to it? Now, people like different music and that is not what I mean to debate in this article. I personally liked some of the singers. I felt they could be successful and provide the world with substantive and exciting music in the future.

The reason that I do not enjoy this type of show is that, in my opinion, it is marketing for marketing’s sake. It is sort of how Paris Hilton is famous for being famous. Rather then showing us a particular fad on any particular episode, the show is inundating us with multiple fads all at once. Some of them stick, some of them fall off. But the sheer magnitude of the fad fodder will be profitable for them. The general public is easily swayed by massive glitz. The money it takes to provide said glitz is also massive. This glitz begets more glitz, which begets even more glitz. All of this glitz turns into money by the original “glitzers” because products are purchased - iTunes downloads, CDs, posters, cars, soft-drinks, to name a few.

American Idol is a business venture. Their goal is to make money - a lot of money. Now, there is nothing wrong with this. If they can make money by telling us what to buy, and we do it, then it’s our fault, not theirs.

Work at Home Dads

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

I work from home. I watch my daughter all day, aside from the rare instances when I have an in-person meeting or if she has play-time with one of her friends. She is two years old now and I wanted to comment a bit on the time that we have spent together in public.

We go on “adventures” each day, regardless of my mood or work-load. I take us to lunch and we go walking around some place like a store, the library, the park, etc. I feel like we both need it for our personal development. I can be reclusive sometimes and this helps me feel in touch with the world. I want my daughter to be stimulated by the world, not just what she might see on television or even what I alone can share with her. The hope of my wife and I is that our daughter is well-rounded and can make decisions for herself based on informed opinions of the world.

Sometimes, when we are on an adventure, we are treated as some sort of a novelty. We often get things said to us such as “Out with daddy today? That’s nice…” or “Mommy busy?”. Sometimes when my daughter is being hyper, as most two-year old children are, people give me a look as if I can’t handle it because I am just her father. I could be reading into that, but I don’t think so. My wife has seen it from afar and agrees with me.

There are many work at home mom websites and things geared to the same. Marketing materials from the big baby supply companies are entirely geared towards women. I cannot remember the last time I saw something that came in marketing to both parents or fathers. Not withstanding the fact that women have been subjugated and compartmentalized for many years, I had hoped that when we had our daughter, things would be more balanced. This might be for a number of reasons that go beyond the scope of this article.

When it comes down to it, I probably am feeling a small amount of what women have dealt with for years in the workplace and beyond. I have worked with and for people that thought our female counterparts were just attempts to fill quotas or that the work they did was “cute”. It is just crazy.

Let’s not discount motherhood on any level and in no way do I feel that working at home mothers (and mothers and fathers in general) are nothing but amazing. I do hope that my daughter can look beyond the role-playing that is such a huge part of our lives. She is free to make the decisions that will truly make her happy, whatever they may be.

This is nothing more than a simple nod to other fathers who do the same…

Windows 7 is my Last Hope for The Windows OS

Sunday, May 17th, 2009

I’ve been using windows since version 3.0, maybe even earlier if I think hard enough. I’ve lived through at least 7 major upgrades and have installed the OS thousands of times in a former life as a technologist. My current operating system is Vista. Vista is, in my opinion, ridiculous.

I hope that Windows 7 goes leaps and bounds above it’s hype. I hope that for once, Microsoft actually listens to what their users want. If Windows 7 does not do the job, my time with Microsoft will end.

I want to add the following to my list of wants to Windows 7:

  1. I want my task icons to not disappear randomly. My volume control has gone off and on for almost every version of Windows
  2. My OS should never crash. Ever. We need to stop living with crashes.
  3. Windows needs to start fast - and not just do so for a week. I should be able to install hundreds of programs and it should still work just fine.
  4. Folder views should not change randomly.
  5. The Windows explorer menus need to stay the way I want them.
  6. I shouldn’t have to be a rocket scientist nor answer a million questions to hook two computers together.
  7. Windows should repair itself if there is a virus or malware installed.
  8. My program associations need to stay the way I want them. Microsoft products should stop taking over.
  9. Face it, other Internet browsers exist. Make every appropriate feature of Windows work with other browsers.
  10. Setting up a printer should be so easy that a kindergartner could do it.
  11. Things should just make sense. If my 60+ year old father can’t figure out the basics of the operating system, then there is something wrong.

There are countless other things that need fixing. If Microsoft does not fundamentally shift the way Windows works (by making it truly functional), I will buy a Mac.

My Pee Looks Like Martian Blood

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

A few weeks ago I noticed that my pee was no longer the glorious golden color of my past. It was in fact bluey-green (this is a real color) and it made me gasp. I have seen myself urinate for my entire life. Because of this, I have come to know my pee. I know when I’ve eaten a ton of garlic, oregano or drank a two-liter of Mountain Dew while watching late night television. So, it came as a surprise to me when I noticed this colorful change.

Was I sick? Did I have some strange new urine color changing virus? Was I about to turn into a 3D animated ogre?

So, I looked up on the World Wide InterWeb (the WWiW) and found out that this type of thing typically comes from food coloring in the foods we eat. Which food item could it be? I typically avoid foods with FDBlah-Blah #242 and Red Something #2. I went through everything I typically eat and found out that my Key Lime Yogurt contained yellow and blue stuff in it. Yellow and blue make green. I learned that from a storage baggie commercial.

By putting two and two together, I found that if I ingest said yogurt two days in a row, my pee starts to look like pea soup. To be fair, it’s not really that green, but it’s close. If I stop eating the yogurt, my pee returns to it’s normal sun-shiny state.

My question is, why does this stuff need colorant added? I mean, it’s in a green container and it’s sealed. I can’t see through it when purchasing, so my brain doesn’t need to get fooled into thinking it is really a key lime prior to purchasing it. Aside from the sugar added to help me tolerate the yogurt, the stuff is pretty good for me, aside from this pee-changing juice.

Is there a way that we all just say, “OK, we get it. This isn’t really made out of limes.” so that we can stop using this crap? But Keith, isn’t it safe? The FDA said it’s fine. My question is: who cares if it’s safe? It is unnecessary, so can we not just leave it out? Pee Lime Yogurt is not something I need anymore and if we level the playing field by getting rid of this stuff all together, then we wont be afraid to eat food that is white or creamy colored. Ghasp! Then my pee can return to it’s normal majesty.

Michael J. Fox Pisses Me Off…

Monday, May 11th, 2009

…because he makes me want to cry like a little girl.

Seriously. I am not kidding. It’s not, however, because I feel sorry for him. I do feel sad that he has been afflicted with a disease that is obviously no barrel of fun - but it’s deeper than that…

I grew up with Family Ties, Back to The Future and just about everything Michael J. Fox had ever done. At times I thought he was cocky and sometimes over-acted, but I always liked him. I felt like he was, at a root level, a good person. I don’t often feel this way about celebrities, nor everyday people for that matter.

At first, after I found out that he had Parkinson’s Disease, it made me incredibly sad to see him on television. He had difficulty controlling his motor skills, he was twitchy and certainly was not the person I remember as a kid growing up in my Chicago suburb. But after many instances bringing me to or close to tears, I started to see past the physical manifestations of his disease. I saw something that is not easy to come by these days: hope.

This might come as a shock to my personal friends, and those that read my articles, but I am a die-hard optimist. I believe in the inherent goodness of mankind, even in the worst of times. I believe that good things happen with hard work and sometimes hard decisions. I feel that we can’t just sit back and be OK with life’s problems and expect them to get better without action. We shold get behind people that do things to help us or motivate us to be better.

Michael J. Fox motivates me to be better - a better, crying, Keith.

I Want my MTV. Really - Bring it Back.

Monday, May 4th, 2009

“Do you want your MTV?”

This was asked of a group of us when I was about 12 years old.

We all said “Sure!”

Then the guy in the car said, “Tell your parents to get cable then!”

We did exactly that. I remember seeing those first music videos. They were magic. Music and video - what a simple concept that has done so much for the careers of artists all over the world. It was moderately subversive and underground in it’s day. The same videos over and over again would play until a new one came out and then that got added to the rotation list. We would watch it late into the night and talk about them at school. It was a beautiful thing really.

After a while, so many videos were available that we could pick and choose, so market-segmented shows came out. They crammed certain genres into half hour and one hour shows and showed the appropriate videos. But then something happened…

It must have become apparent to someone that certain segments were watched more than others. Then it must have become apparent to someone which of those segments could be advanced with synergistic marketing. Product placement (including the MTV brand) was everywhere. Artists were pushed through that were strictly talentless marketing efforts. Boy bands were created every day. Artists were pigeon holed into their demographic and if they didn’t fit, they were and still are, pushed off. MTV has taken product placement and self promotion to a level that is unmatched in terms of scope and ridiculousness. From this, a culture of music was cultivated that, in my opinion, is unparalleled even today.

However, this culture has been co-opted in a manner that is hard to believe. There has been a joke for years about there being no music on MTV. It’s not really a joke though, is it? It’s simply the truth. There are reality shows about dating, reality shows about living in an apartment somewhere, there are shows about music, but there is not much actual music.

It just makes me sad that this happens and I wonder what we can do to bring some quality back into this channel. Not that MTV is the only channel or organization that does this type of thing. It just happens to be an iconic symbol that I wonder if it is worth saving?