I was recently told by a real-life friend of mine that also happens to be a digg.com member that I am essentially the Digg version of a bad friend.
What he pointed out was that, on Digg, I am moderately self absorbed, don’t contribute much and when it comes down to it, no one would want to be my friend. I pondered his comments and realized that he is absolutely right. But, why?
After a lot of thought, I realized that my digg.com actions mimic my real life actions.
I have never really been good friends to many people at any given time. I am basically just not good at it. I really like people as a whole and I enjoy communicating and collaborating all day long. However, when it comes to deep friendships, they are few and far between. This is how I have been my entire life. I’ve only had few people that I really consider “best friends” if I were to add them all up.
I rarely remember a time when I have not occupied my entire day from morning til late night with things to do. Because of this, I have a hard time fulfilling my duty of reciprocal friendship. It’s not that I don’t want to. I actually think about friends significantly more than they know. I just have this drive that makes me do other things. This is good and bad, of course, but it’s just part of my root personality.
There are 24 hours in a day and I find it necessary to fill up all of my spare time thinking. I know it sounds crazy, but that’s what I’ve always been driven to do. I like to invent things, develop ideas, wonder why things happen or why I might be doing something in a certain way. I think this is what lends itself to me seeming to be \ being self-absorbed. I find that as each day goes by I get a stronger and stronger desire to create things and my friendships might falter if left unchecked.
I am glad that he said something because I feel that I need to allow time for friends. I really like people, which may be a surprise to some personal friends. This not only includes my real-life, but also my online-life as there are many new experiences to be had by finding new people and cultivating friendships.
More importantly, it’s Earth Day. Please plant a tree or donate to a tree planting organization. If you aren’t up for that, maybe a walk outside to enjoy our planet might be a great way to spend the day.
alrighty then…this one actually got my dander up, but i can admittedly be a bit protective of people i care about.
selectively guarded at times? maybe. enigmatic? perhaps. but self-absorbed is NOT an adjective i would use to describe you. sure your waters run deep. you are and have always been one to think, do, move on to the next project spinning around your mind. hellooooo you’re an artist. that is what artists do. your “creations” are an outward expression of who you are. i get that. i respect that and i admire that. i guess i’ve know you WAAAAY too long and am far too intuitive to write your behavior off as simply self-absorbed.
the very act of labeling someone as self-absorbed seems, in my humble opinion, more about that person and less about you. it is not your obligation to run around filling up other people’s wells. it is not your job to validate other people’s worth. they either take you for who you are or not. you shouldn’t need to apologize for who you are. you are exactly who and what you need to be when you need to be it. period.
there are many different kinds of friendships to meet the needs of various types of people. for example, someone who is a “needy” personality type, needing constant reassurance of the position they hold in your life, wouldn’t fair too well in a friendship with you. but then again, there are friends out there (gonna toot my own horn here…toot! toot!) who know the REAL you, embrace it, love you and accept you just the way you are.
“self-absorbed” is the wrong term to describe you.
You are simply a guy, who has not much spare time in a day. It’s barely enough to write one blog post on your website, then it’s baby/work/wife/house/friends again… and yeah, it’s very much “friends” who you do spend your time on. Everybody who knows you knows this.
If you are “self-absorbed” on Digg, it doesn’t reflect how you are in real-life at all.
Thank you
Dander up… People are using fun phrases today in general.
Thank you.
Toot toot!