Quite a few years ago, I was on a dinosaur dig in South Dakota. We stayed and slept on a local ranch at night and during the blistering hot days. There were about 30 of us from all walks of life. There was one lady that made a particular impact on me.
This lady, an older woman, was dying of cancer. I suppose that her being on a dig was something she had always wanted to do. She drove across the country in her VW Beetle to work on the dig. If I were in the same predicament as she, I would probably do the same thing if I felt it had gone un-done before I died. However, she made an impact on me in a different way…
She was kind of grumpy - not at all like you might imagine based on those made for TV movies where someone smiles all the way to their grave because they got to fulfill a dying wish. I am being nice when I say “grumpy”, because she was actually fairly mean. This leads me to the statement that she made which had a profound impact on my life.
We were sitting around one evening, avoiding the heat, waiting for a storm to come in. We were talking about nature, birds, etc. When she proclaimed, loudly, that “…all Starlings must die”.
Huh? Did she really say that? Was she joking or being sarcastic?
It was apparent that she really did mean it. She went on how she wanted them all dead. I can’t remember why anymore, but I remember being caught in the irony of her comments… How someone dying would want something else dead, let alone an entire species. It spoke to me about the nature of man. It helped me define who I am. I realized there that if I were ever to be on my death bed, that I would want to be like one of those made for TV movies. I would want to enjoy every last second of life that the planet had to offer.
I actually think of her comments so often that the vision of that day is emblazoned in my brain. I hope that I can continue to see nature and humanity for it’s beauty even at the worst of times.
not sure why, but i sort of got a Sarte/existentialism feel from this. very cool read. loved the last sentence.